A couple of weeks ago, I decided to interview my son. Yes, I interviewed my 5 year old son. Why? I'm not sure. . .I guess we were both bored. In fact, I know we were bored. We were waiting outside of a store for his dad to get finished with something and we ended up waiting for quite a while. So, I randomly started asking my son a bunch of different questions. I suppose I was just interested in hearing the answers from the mouth of my babe. My little prince. I hope you find this as funny as I did. If not, you have no sense of humor! My questions are in bold. My son's responses are written word. for. word. Seriously!
What's your name? Tyler
Do you have a nickname? I don't know
What's your age? Five
Just Five? Yes, just five
What's your favorite toy? Transformers, Mask, Ben10
I asked what your favorite toy was. That means only one. Sorry, all of them. I can't pick just one.
What is your favorite thing to do? Chuck E Cheese
What's your favorite pet? Pete and Bruno (his dad's dog)
Okay, who is your favorite-ist? Pete
Why is Pete your favorite? Because his ears are big and funny. He looks like Batman.
Who is your favorite person in the whole wide world? Nana Alice (if it isn't me, I guess I'm fine with it being my mom!)
Why is Nana Alice your favorite? She has toys at her house (yes, apparently my son can be bought!)
I have toys at my house too. She has better ones.
What do you want to be when you grow up? The Mayor
Why? Just because. . .
What kind of house do you want to live in when you grow up? The White House
A white house or the White House? THE White House
Why? Because it's the biggest house in America.
What kind of car do you want to drive when you grow up? The Mayor Car
And what kind of car is that? A Limo
Do you want to get married when you grow up? No
Why not? Cuz. . .
Do you want to have kids? Yes
How many kids? Seven (Holy BAJEEZUS!)
Seven kids is a lot. . .do you know that? Yes, but that's my mind made up. (Oookayyyyy)
Do you have names for those seven kids? Yes: Jack, Mary, Tyler Jr, Jake, Popper, The Great Wizard, and Lexi
How do you get a job as the mayor? You just be it. You come from a different town and be mayor. Like George Washington.
Do you want to play sports? No way.
Why not? Because you have to run alot and get sweaty. It makes me tired.
Where will all those kids come from if you don't have a wife? My fiancee (oh God, what have I done?)
Hmm. . .interesting. Okay. What will your fiancee look like? Mommy, I don't want to talk anymore. I'm tired of your 20 questions. Can I read quietly now?
There you have it. I'm raising a smarty pants politician who has the desire to procreate outside of marriage and who tells his Mama when to shut it!